Fathers Day this year was very rough for me. I woke up in horrible pain early Sunday morning from the rashes that were on my left forearm, thy, and upper right arm. My pain was so horrible I was starting to have contractions. Nicholas felt so bad....I even woke him up from crying. I will never forget it because he just layd there and rubbed my back. When we woke up in the morning he gave me a priesthood blessing and headed off to church with Thorsten. immediately after my blessing I felt like I should text my good friend Rachel Vrooman, from College. She was in her residency and was becoming an OBGYN. I knew she would give me straight up direction of what I should do. She told me that I needed to call the doctors office and that they would direct me to whoever was on call. She eased my worry and told me that there were plenty of things that they could give me that would help and not harm the baby. Thanks to the blessing I was able to get some rest and I was able to get a perscription from the doctor later that day for a topical cream. But it was a rough road....as told in my poison ivy page. Also Nic and I were asked to give talks in Sacrament today! Both our talks had to do with the important and vital roll the father plays in the home. Thorsten wasn't to happy today either. But we showed papa a ton of Love and gave him the "Hooked on Papa" fishing Tie we made him. He wore it to church and we made him a nice dinner as well. During the week in preperation for fathers day we made Papa #2 (Bill Scheerer) a Nice big Coffee mug for fathers day as well with the "Hooked on Papa" saying. We also made Opa (Jeffrey Tonne) a "Hands down worlds best Opa" tie. Opa and Omi were in Deutchland for the month of June. But we were able to text with my dad and let him know we were thinking about him.
Here is an outline of Nics Talk.... He told several stories and such, but I thought it was amazing how he tied Elder Ballards talk to what he had learned from the Marine Corps! My talk wasn't as good....
Good morning brothers and sisters. It is wonderful to be with you today. Brother Thomas gave me the talk “Fathers and Sons: A Remarkable Relationship" given by Elder M. Russell Ballard in the October 2009 general conference. This talk along with it being father’s day today, brought forth this simple yet in depth question of what does it mean to be a father? I read through Elder Ballards talk several times to try and grasp the concept what it means to be a father. After studying and pondering his remarks I was able to make parallels to his talk with my own personal life experiences.
All around us in the world today it is not hard to see that many children are being raised in a single parent home. Many of which are single mothers trying to raise several children while working multiple jobs to provide for the children. With this in mind I did a Google search of the phrase “Single family homes with no father”. I clicked on one of the first web sites that I saw at the top of the list just to get an idea on how the rest of society feels about this topic. I found some not so shocking things.
According to the web site www.Fatherhood.org, “There is a “Father Factor” in Our Nation’s Worst Social Problems”. I’m going to read a couple of these statistics to demonstrate the impacts on children by not having a father in the home.
It is easy to see that this is a problem that cannot be fixed over night. The Lack of fathers in the household continues to grow as the world continues to grow in the lack of self accountability and selfishness.
As members of the church we are part of one of the largest families on earth that believe in and have faith in the family unit. According to the family proclamation to the world parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.
In Elder M. Russell Ballard's talk from the October 2009 general conference "Fathers and Sons: A remarkable relationship". He quotes,"There is no other relationship quite like that which can and should exist between a boy and his dad. He goes on to say Fathers you are the primary model of manhood for your sons.You are their most meaningful mentor, and believe it or not, you are their hero in countless ways. Your words and your example are a great influence on them.
Elder Ballard gives three simple suggestions to fathers that will help improve their relationship with their sons. #1 – Father’s listen to your son’s #2 - Pray with and for your son’s. Give them priesthood blessings. #3 - Dare to have the "big talks" with your sons. I will be examining these three suggestions along with the principles that are conveyed within them to those leadership Principles that I have learned throughout my life.
As I mentioned earlier I was able to make parallels from his talk with my own personal life experiences. Many of the principles that Elder Ballard speaks of in his talk are very similar to those leadership principles required of a young marine to demonstrate as he trains as if he is going into battle tomorrow.
My time before the Marine Corps wasn't always the best, despite the fact that I was raised with good morals and beliefs based somewhat on church doctrine, I managed to get myself into more serious trouble than I did any good. I lived in a fairly large farming community of about 30,000 people. During high school I was able to see that if I did not do something with my life I would end up getting stuck in a whirl wind of temptation that would end up leading me down the wrong path to no where. About my junior year I decided to join the Marine Corps so that I could get my life straighten out and give myself some options for the future. I left for boot camp on November 03, 2001 only a few months after 9-11 happened. I arrived at Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego to begin my training on November 04, 2001. This marked the day that the Marine Corps would begin breaking me down physically and mentally and build me back over the next 90 days. It was during this time that I realized that if I did not change my outlook on how I was going to live the rest of my life now, more than likely I never would. During my time at boot camp we were given an over whelming amount of information that included many skills, leadership principles and leadership traits. At the time I did not pay much attention to the wealth of knowledge that was being handed to me, I was merely trying to retain it long enough to spit it all back out on exams that needed to be passed in order to graduate from boot camp. As my time continued in the Marine Corps off and on over the next 12 years, I was able to study the 11 leadership principles and the 14 leadership traits more in depth. I was able to shape and mold those principles to my own character based on the examples that I did and did not like from leaders that I served under.
Many if not all of the Marine Corps leadership principles and traits are those very qualities that each of us as father should strive to achieve for the sanctity our families. I will show you my correlation between those 11 Marine Corps leadership principles and those principles so graciously taught by Elder Ballard in his talk.
Leadership Principle #1. Know one self and seek self improvement: We as fathers should be firm in our beliefs of not only the gospel but of who we are and what we believe in. If we know that we lack in a particular aspect of life, we need to realize it, and seek self improvement. This will help our children learn from a young age that life is a constant effort to become like the savior.
Leadership Principle #2. Be technically and tactically proficient - Fathers we need to establish a solid foundation based on gospel principles for our families and be diligent in our dealing with the Holy Ghost so that we may know the best way to maneuver our families through this life while holding fast to the iron rod.
Leadership Principle #3. Develop a sense of responsibility among your subordinates - Fathers develop the skills needed to maintan and employ the priesthood bestowed on us to lead by example. This should be done so that we may demonstrate to our family as a father, the sense of responsibility that is needed to have the priesthood within the household at all times.
Leadership Principle #4. Make sound and timely decisions - Fathers let us be worthy in the eyes of Heavenly Father that we may have the Holy Ghost as a companion to lead us and guide us through the challenging decisions that life brings us. Thus, allowing us to guide our children through the early stages of life, by way of knowledge and example.
Leadership Principle #5. Set the Example - Fathers, Let us forget the quote, "do as I say not as I do" and no matter how busy our lives are let’s make the time to set the example the best that we can for our sons. Leading by example has a much larger impact than many other methods of teaching our children.
Leadership Principle # 6. Know your marines and look out for there welfare - As Elder Ballard stated in his talk,"Fathers, listen to your sons - really listen to them. Ask the right kind of questions, and listen to what your sons have to say each time you have a few minutes together. You need to know-not to guess but to know-what is going on in your son’s life. Don't assume that you know how he feels because you were young once. Your son lives in a very different world from the one in which you grew up in. As they share with you whats going on, you will have to listen very carefully and without being judgemental in order to understand what they are thinking and experienceing".
Leadership Principle #7. Keep your Marines informed - Fathers keep your sons informed - Elder Balllard quotes, "Dare to have the "big Talks" with you sons. You know what I mean: talks about drugs and drinking, about the dangers of today's media-the internet, cyber technologies, and pornography-and about priesthood worthiness, respect for girls, and moral cleanliness. While these should not be the only subjects you talk about with your sons, please do not shy away from them. Your boys need need your counsel, guidance and input on these subjects: As you talk about these very important matters, you will find that the trust between you will flourish".
Leadership Principle #8. Seek responsibility and take responsibilities for your actions - We as mortals here on earth are a species created in the image of God our Heavenly Father. We were given many characteristics similar to those that Heavenly Father has. However, being perfect is not one of them. We will all make mistakes and many of them. Fathers when we do, let us be there to show our sons how to be accountable for our actions. Let us also show them the true path of discipleship through demonstrating the full process of repenting for our sins.
Leadership Principle 9. Ensure assigned tasks are understood, supervised, and accomplished - Fathers, Let us stand beside our wives in partnership, to make sure that our homes are a Christ centered homes and are shelters from the evil of the outside world. We can do this properly teaching our sons and daughters the precious truths about the family unit in the home and the role that each of us plays. This being passed down from generation to generation from Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, the Prophet and the twelve apostles.
Leadership Principle #10. Train you Marines as a team - Train your children to work as a team- With the many dark and scary things in the world today, it is important for us as father to teach our children to get along and be compassionate toward each member of the family. If we start this from a young age our sons will come to watch out for each other during all trials of life.
Leadership Principle #11. Employ your command in accordance with its capabilities - From the Family Proclamation to the world it states, "Fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and be responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families". Fathers let us work hard to be the very father each of our sons and families need us to be.
Brother and Sisters, I bear you my testimony of the necessity of a father in the family unit and of the truths the Elder Ballard has taught in his talk about a father and sons relationship. I would like to challenge each of you on this Fathers day to ask your self these questions: How well do I know myself and do I know how to seek self improvement. I leave these things with you in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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